EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
"A son gives merit to the father."
Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian told the following.
During the First World War I was a young man, but I already had several
children. At that time the Germans ruled over Lithuania. The Germans
took everything, and the famine there was very great. They only gave
the residents oats to eat, and that in very small amounts. The
situation was terrible.
At that time my sons were studying in the Telz Yeshivah, and they,
too, were famished for bread. We forced ourselves to send them packages
of food to whatever extent we were able. Once, neighbors entered our
house and saw the great poverty we were in. They said to my wife, "You
have nine children. Why do you have to suffer so much hunger in order
for all nine of them to sit and study? Send a few of them to work in
order that you will not have to suffer such terrible poverty and
hunger."
My righteous wife answered, "In this world I do not want them to help
me at all. I have G-d to help me. But I very much want them to help me
when I am in the next world, the world of eternal truth....
(Lev Eliyahu, Vayigash, p.175)
When parents command their children to do good deeds, and they do them,
then it is as if the parents themselves also did these good deeds. Thus
Chazal said, "Anyone who causes another person to do a mitzvah will be
considered as if he did the mitzvah."
It seems to me that it is the same with education. If the parents
educate and accustom their children to go in a good and straight way,
and consequently the children grow older and go in a good way, and even
add to it, then certainly the parents have a good portion in the deeds
of the children because the main thing depends upon education. This is
what is written, "A wise son is the instruction of his father..."
(Proverbs 13:1), and as Chazal said, "If you see a wise son, then know
that his father disciplined him in his youth and directed him into a
good way."
In the same way, we can better understand how a child, through the good
deeds which he does in this world, even though he does them for
himself, saves his parents from the judgement of gehennom and opens the
door for them into Gan Eden. It is because they brought him to do these
good deeds. Thus it is written, "My son, if your heart is wise, then my
heart will also be happy" (Proverbs 23:15). The Metzudat David
explained this verse, "Since it is from my hand that wisdom has come to
you, my heart will also be happy in this world and in the world to
come."
(Chanoch Lena'ar, The Testament of the Rebbe Reshab of Lubavitch, p.33)