EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN
A chasid once approached the Kotzker Rebbe with a request for a
blessing that his children should learn Torah. The Rebbe said to him,
"You learn Torah, and your children will learn to do like you. But if
you do not learn, but just spend your time making requests, then your
children will learn to do the same. They will not learn Torah, but they
will request blessings that their children should learn Torah....
It is said that the father of the holy Sokotchover merited to such an
illustrious son by virtue of his diligent study on Purim, at a time
when everyone else was off to make a joyous Purim and no one had time
to learn.
When the Netziv of Volozhin, Rebbe Naftali Tzvi Berlin, was preparing
to leave this world there were among the words that he wrote in his
testament to his son, Rebbe Chaim Berlin, "I know that you are a fine
speaker, and you will undoubtedly try to increase your efforts
regarding funeral orations for me. You should know that if you choose
to learn several pages of Talmud instead of spending hours on funeral
orations it will be more satisfying to me in the supernal worlds than
if you waste hours on the mitzvah of hesped. Therefore, it will be
better if you do not extend the funeral orations and keep them to the
necessary minimum....
A man once came to the holy Rabbi, Rebbe Ben Tzion of Bobov, for a
blessing. The Rebbe began to ask him about his situation in both the
spiritual and material realms. In the course of the conversation the
Rebbe learned that one of his sons was studying science in university.
The Rebbe asked him, "What is the reason that you sent him to study in
university and not to yeshivah to study Torah?"
The man answered, "If he finishes the course of study in science and
receives a doctorate, then he will be able to get a reputable position
and make a good livelihood. Then he will be able to support me until
120."
The Rebbe answered, "But who will support you after 120?"
A good woman is the cause of Torah. She can encourage her son to attend
the bet medrash. She is at home, and she pours love and attention upon
him, and this draws him to the study of Torah when he is young.
Afterwards, when he is older, he will not turn away from it.
Therefore, it is proper that a woman should pray to G-d at the time of
lighting shabbat candles, which is her mitzvah, that G-d should shine
the light of Torah upon her children. Prayer is more acceptable at the
time when a person is doing a mitzvah. And on the merit of the shabbat
candles which generate light, her children will merit to be scholars of
Torah, which is called light, and this is what is written, "For the
commandment is a candle, and the Torah is light..." (Proverbs 6:23).
(Rabbenu Bechayay, Parshat Yitro)
